I just installed the new OS X El Capitan operating system—on my late 2009 MacBook clunker—and find myself completely lost and confused in this magical new landscape. I’ve been working at a creative tech boutique for a little over a year now, so I’m hypersensitive to UX/UI when before I didn’t know what either were. It’s scary. I feel so obsolete.
My main concern was losing all my old photos, having some albums dating back a decade (holy shit!). As I was combing through my archives, acute to anything amiss, I found some old calligraphy I’d written when I was in London nearly 4 years ago: desperate, broke, heartbroken, and—according to one of my own texts—”painfully lonely.” What a stark comparison to where I am now, when just today I was walking my dog (I have a dog now!) through Fort Greene, Brooklyn, thinking about how my personal growth has been meteoric since moving here. For a city with so many people that we’re practically climbing on top of one another, there’s so much space to explore and grow. I’m so grateful.
So, when I look back at my 22-year-old self, I can’t help but to both lament her lonely suffering and admire her resilience. In my exhaustive introspection, I created a few things (if just to pass the time). Here they are below: raw, unrefined, young, and soulful.